Easy ways to annoy certain came characters
by ResourcefulDreamer
Summary: This is my way of harassing the characters from video games that I think should have more stories on fanfiction, anyway this is my first story so please no flames! Rated T to be safe. Also updated so chapter 2 is in here, in case you were wondering where it went.
1. Chapter 1

**Easy ways to annoy certain game characters**

**WARNING: ****I am not responsible for any possible deaths, do this at your own risk.**

**DISCLAIMER: ****I do not own any of the characters in this story all characters belong to their rightful owners and such, please rate and review!**

**Dragon Realms (Spyro the Dragon)**

**VILLAINS**

**Ripto**

Call Ripto a shorty (duh)

Follow him around. Don't do anything, just follow quietly and say nothing. After a while he'll get annoyed and demand why you're stalking him. Bend down so you're squatting, stare into his eyes and say, "Your fly's open." Then run away laughing hysterically. Repeat every five minutes with a different, random line. One example is, "You have a booger hanging out of your nose."

Ask him to go bungee jumping with you. If he says no, then fall to your knees and cry until he says yes. When he does go through with it, have a spare rope with a cut end. When he jumps, scream and throw the rope, he'll scream all the way down.

Scream "FLOG" and hit him with a Golf stick. He may not go far but you'd better be ready to run. Let it be known that Midgets are fast, especially angry dinosaur ones.

Tell Crush that Ripto is really a robotic piñata and he is filled with candy, then watch and wait.

If you have a stack of papers, go up to Ripto and slam them on his head. When he screams why you did it, say "I couldn't find my hole puncher."

This one is fun if everyone gets in on it. Tell them about the game 'punch buggy' but instead of Buggy, it's 'punch Gulp'. So each time Ripto walks past, yell 'Punch Gulp!" And proceed to punch his lights out.

Whack his arm every few minutes. If he asks, say "Invisible mosquito." If he replies, "How can you see it then?" Reply. "I can't."

When he walks past, quote, "This time, I'll get rid of you permanently!" It helps if you're dressed up like him.

Refer to failure as pulling off a Ripto.

If you're really tall, run up to him and kick him with all your might, then scream "GOAL!" when he mashes into the wall.

If he gets angry with you, tell him to go have a nap or you'll put him in time out.

Call him a pin. When he asks why, tell him he's a "little prick."

If you have a balloon, pretend to accidentally drop it on his head so it pops on his horn, then cry like a two year old and call him a bully. If he smirks, run and kick him in the knee, calling him a jerk, then skip away happily like a hyper active kid.

**Sorcerer**

Follow him hunched over and hold your hands, drumming your fingers against each other and mutter "_Excellent._" Keep doing so even if he tries to kill you.

Each time you see him, put your hands together like your praying and develop a wise look, then say, "I feel a disturbance in the force." He'll either ignore you or give you an odd look.

Follow him again and hum the jaws theme song. When he turns, hide behind something obvious, like a thin post, beam, curtain of even turn around the other way. One good method is to pretend you're a tree. It helps if you make it _painfully _obvious, like sticking your feet out from underneath the curtains where he'll see them.

Threaten to tell everyone that he has a walking stick.

Threaten to tell everyone his age.

Try to guess his age, starting at 1.

Ask why he's wearing a dress and where you can get one.

Ask how often he has growth spurts like when he fought Spyro.

Learn telepathy and contact him, then just breathe heavily before saying, "I know where you live."

Get bagpipes and follow him, playing it as horribly as you can.

Demand he take an AIDs test.

Demand he take a pregnancy test.

Call him a llama.

Demand that he play jump rope with you, otherwise whack him with the rope.

**Sorceress**

Ask how old she is.

Start guessing at 1. Get everyone else to ask too, always starting from 1.

Ask her if she ate Hansel and Gretel.

Call her the world's most mutated gorilla lizard.

Follow her and imitate her walking as Godzilla. When she turns around, quickly whip out a random book and pretend to be reading.

Stare at her, then go cross eyed. Trust me, it works, she freaks out.

Go half cross eyed, it's even more hilarious. Then pretend your eye is stuck.

Put a whoopee cushion under the seat of her throne, you'll hear a massive bang.

Put a firecracker under her cushion, watch as it goes off and she turns every shade of red.

Hook her up with Gnasty Gnorc.

Hook her up with the Sorcerer.

Hook her up with Red.

When she enters the room, drop to the ground, cover your head and scream, "EARTHQUAKE!" When she takes a step, scream again. "AFTER SHOCK!"

Taser her.

**GULP**

Tell him he ate Ripto in his sleep.

Convince him that he's smarter than Ripto and Crush.

When Ripto's riding him, scream "GAY!"

When Ripto's riding him, jump on and kick him off then yell "MUSH DOGGEH!"

Tell him Crush has a crush on him.

Call him a psychotic murder wannabe. When he asks, remind him that he tried to eat a defenceless fairy.

Tell him the bogey man is out to get him.

Tell him Santa Claus put him on the naughty list.

Tell him that Chuck Norris is out to get him.

Tell him Santa Claus is out to get him.

Tell him Ripto fired him.

Tell him Batman hired him, then say he fired him.

Feed him a turkey stuffed with a speaker. Then when Ripto's riding him, play loud wet sounding farts and watch Ripto and Crush develop a look of horror, bonus points if you put something awful smelling in the area. Watch him pleading that it wasn't him as Ripto is riding on Crush's shoulder.

If the speaker isn't digested yet, get a voice changer helmet that sounds like Gulp, then say, "I WUV YOU WIPTO! WILL YOU PWEASE MAWWY ME?!" Watch as he backs away while Gulp tries to convince him it wasn't him.

**Crush**

Convince him he's Einstein.

Take his club away and give him a bouquet of daisies.

Call him a pansy. Do so if you didn't do the above.

Tell him Gulp has the hots for him.

Tell him Ripto has the hots for him.

Ask how he's feeling. If he asks, say he was looking a bit blue.

Call him Bubbles and give him a toy octopus with a top hat.

Get him a large cooking apron with '_**Minion of the month**_' on the front with a bikini top and bottom printed on it. Either that or '_**Kiss the cook**_' will usually do.

Tell him about Golf.

Then tell him Ripto is a giant walking golf ball.

Get a camera and record Crush belting Ripto in a home run.

Share the video with him and everyone else.

Introduce him to the world of the chipmunks.

Get him obsessed with it.

**Red**

Follow him and sing '_Sunshine lollipops and rainbow gummy drops_…' And just repeat it in a continuous loop. Red'll lose his temper _very _quickly so be prepared to bolt after the fifth verse.

When he walks past, mock salute him. It will get on his nerves, especially if you have a helmet, army clothes and boots, even a toy gun helps.

Ask how old he is. He'll either not answer or whack you upside the head. If he does, fall to the floor like you've been knocked out, especially if anyone else is around. He'll still walk off like nothing happened.

Refer to going power mad as 'seeing Red' or pulling off a 'red'. Simple things will piss him off very easily and quickly. Also, running cannot save you, since he can teleport.

Play the chipmunks whenever he goes past.

Whack his arm and say, "The phantom bug strikes again."

When he's standing beside you, suddenly scream as loud as you can like you were stabbed. He'll shit himself. When asks if you're alright, look at him and say, "I'm hungry." Then walk off to the closest kitchen. Be warned, he may freeze you, burn you or just pick you up and throw you off a cliff.

Randomly throw yourself to the ground, hugging his tail, he'll ask what the hell you're doing, then say. "I think it's alive, I saw it move."

Pretend to be spider man and try to climb up a wall, than fall on him.

Dress up as him, then apply mascara, eyeliner, lip stick, blush, eye shadow, a really tarty dress and high heels, also don't forget to stuff the chest with tissues or socks. It has to be a convincing costume, so go around telling everyone you're Red. Be prepared to fling those heels off and get the f*ck off that realm.

Take his staff and put a disco ball on it.

When it's dark, take his staff and use it as a night light to read a book.

When he says something, demand he proves it.

Get a giant rubber band and put it across his horns while he's asleep. When he wakes up and walks up to the dojo, grab a rock, grab the band and use it as a sling shot, then flee.


	2. Chapter 2

**Easy ways to annoy certain game characters**

**WARNING: ****I am not responsible for any possible deaths, do this at your own risk.**

**DISCLAIMER: ****I do not own any of the characters in this story all characters belong to their rightful owners and such, please rate and review!**

**Dragon Realms (Spyro the Dragon)**

**Moneybags**

Get Hunter to dress up as Batman, than get him to steal Moneybags' gems that his family gave him. Later, he'll running around screaming that Batman stole his family jewels.

Take his gems and stand on the edge of the cliff. Have Moneybags hands tied together and throw the bag off the cliff, bonus points if he jumps off after it.

Go to the Spooky Swamp at Midday Gardens and carefully catch some piranhas. Go into his store and swap his gem bag with the piranhas, disguised as a gem bag, then later ask him to show off his gems. He'll stick his hand right in there and let your imagination do the rest.

Stick a cattle prod up his furry ass.

Switch it on.

Shove him into a pond.

**(WARNING THIS MYTH IS REAL PLEASE DO NOT GO INTO THE WOODS ESPECIALLY AT NIGHT!)** Tell him about the Slender Man myth then throw his bag of gems into the woods. He'll be torn between retrieving them and waiting til dawn. Then tell him the Slender Man likes gems. The stress will kill him.

Give him fake gems and see how long it takes him to realise.

Call him Mr Krabs.

Call him Scrooge.

Tell him his wife left him for a billionaire.

Tell him his kids hate him and pick his pockets.

Tell him to give himself an uppercut. If he says no, threaten to castrate him.

Dump cooking grease and oil on him then have Spyro set his fat ass on fire. Roast bear anyone?

**Hunter**

When he's running in a race and _just_ about to win, tackle him.

Sign him up for a hot dog eating contest. One that you're not allowed to back out of.

Call him Uncle. This will annoy him because he will feel old.

Pain this skateboard pink with a unicorn flying across and a frog riding it with a pitch fork in hand. Count how long it takes him to notice.

Get his skate shorts and paint a target on the ass.

Get him to dress up as Robin Hood and Bianca as Maid Marian. Then egg them.

Challenge him to race Sonic.

Laugh when he loses.

Trip him if he is about to win.

Tell him he should try a bikini wax. He'll ask you what that is, so tell him to ask Bianca and laugh as she slaps him.

Fake your death. Hunter is very gullible and not too bright so he'll fall for it. Fake blood helps too.

Pretend to come back as a zombie. He'll scream at a pitch high enough to break glass.

Invite him to watch the ring with you. He'll never watch TV again.

Dress up as the little girl from the ring. He'll never trust you again.

**Sparx**

Scream bug and whack him.

Say mozzie and spray him.

Get him a pet frog.

For his birthday surprise him with a Venus fly trap.

Grab a spider and follow him around with it.

Convince him the world is about to end again.

Use him to play angry birds.

Get a butterfly net and chase him around, catching him over and over again. Not really funny but it'll piss him off.

Show him the movie arachnophobia in a dark room.

Tell Cynder that he called her sexy before their first battle.

Show him your pet cat and if you don't have one, borrow a friend's.

Get Spyro to fake his death. Of course he'll put you on his hit list for it.

Turn on a bug zapper and see if he flies towards it.

When he starts getting into a rant or real moody, just call him 'the flying tampon'. He'll shut up, give you an odd look or even ask what a tampon is. Have fun giving details.

**Elora**

Each time she walks past, go "Baa."

Get her a pot plant. When she asks what the occasion is, just tell her "I thought you were hungry."

Ask her if she really is a Faun. If she says yes, ask why she has a fox tail.

When Ripto first meets Spyro, walk right up in front of Ripto and stare right into his eyes, than repeat with Hunter, the Professor and Elora. Take note that they're all either blue or green. Ask them why. They'll give you the oddest look.

Get her sheep skin slippers and ask if it's a relative.

Tell her she's a control freak.

When she's sleeping, dye her tail like a raccoon's.

If she walks past and accidentally bumps into you, even a gentle brush, collapse like you got a head injury.

Follow behind her river-dancing. If she turns, stop what you're doing. Follow her again, stomping around like a gorilla. Stop when she turns around. Then finally, get on your hands and knees and crawl behind her. Repeat every five minutes so she gets paranoid.

Demand she gets a llama test.

Demand she wear pants.

Demand she learns tap dancing.

Ask her to go bungee jumping with you.

Without the rope.

_**Author's note.**_

_**Hi guys, this is all for sheer stupidity humour, I'm writing these to get more attention on these games so they have more stories on fanfiction. I think I might try a Kameo Elements of power one next. **___


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